Friday, January 30, 2009

YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN CALIFORNIA WHEN...

My fellow 4Corners writer buddies are circulating their own You Know You're In... lists. I had to contribute.

I found this one for California and boy is it where I live. I mean, a lot of it strikes a chord. Things like the body piercings are probably less common than tattoos, but since a lot of them aren't visible who would know? Tattoos seem to be everywhere. As to parking spaces you will take a parking spot just because it's there.

Plato hasn't had his own therapist but he did have his own private trainer for a while. One of Plato's descriptions when we got him from the SPCA was "Pulls like a monster truck." My husband was flipped over once by Plato, and he's six feet tall and weighs over 170 pounds. I haven't levitated like a friend of mine who got pulled off her feet by her Akita, but I've been pulled over numerous times. Her Akita has a trainer who comes to their house once a week. My friend is four feet, eleven inches tall--the Mighty Max--but even Mighty Max has her limits.

On to the list:

You know you're in California when...

Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.
You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."
You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00pm Tae Bo class.
You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.
It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
Both you AND your dog have therapists.

7 comments:

Brit said...

Awesome!

I'm sending this to my Cali-buddies.

marsh to the fore said...

I think it's awesome too! So on the mark with so much--even to the important sport's guy whose name escapes me, who was accused of killing his wife and her friend and who got off. He's now serving a prison term for kidnapping. (The one--maybe you've already guessed--about slow moving car chase etc.) That was a sight. I remember it well.

Heidi the Hick said...

I wanna dye my hair purple and call myself Breeze.

marsh to the fore said...

I bet you do! I can believe it! Breeze would be a good name for you--even without the purple hair.

JKB said...

LOLOOLL!!!

Just having lived there and visited you, I can see all this happening! I have to laugh.

Kerri said...

That is hysterical! And totally unlike anyplace I've ever lived. We might be out there soon though.

marsh to the fore said...

Yeah, I do think California is weird--in its own odd way--nothing even comes close. I do love it though! Kerri--are you really contemplating a move out our way? I think you were contemplating a move but don't know where that went. If so you know you got to visit!