I was thinking of opposites yesterday. Dark Light! Down Up! In Out! Hard, Soft, most commonly associated, perhaps, with male and female? Heaven Hell. Sad Happy. Now we're moving toward something with true personal resonance.
We can find other opposites that have resonance, but when you're in the middle of grieving someone, there is nothing more devastating than Dead, Alive. Alive, Dead. It doesn't matter which way you turn the words, Dead is the more powerful word when you're grieving someone. You don't even think alive consciously except you think constantly about that someone when they were alive and now they'll never be alive again. No more crazy wonderful conversations over the phone, no more wonderful emails. I went to a psychologist not too long ago to talk about the manner of this person's death because it was truly terrible and I was trying desperately to come to grips with it and I had found I couldn't talk to anyone else about it because of the nature of the death. Yes, it was terrible, and it happened to this someone I loved, and how can I ever come to grips with that? And the guilt! Maybe I could have helped!
This, of course, is about the brother I'm grieving. Perhaps you're grieving for someone too. If so, perhaps we can talk, and we can grieve together.
2 weeks ago